No Sarcasm, Just Joyous Hyperbole
Hi everyone! I just got back from a long trip to Korea, and I’m not here to talk about that. Not yet. I’m here to tell you that I am the most put together person to ever exist.
Let me explain.
Yesterday, I was jetlagged, still weak after being quite sick, and a little loopy from sensory overload as I leaned into my messy kitchen where a house guest was cooking his lunch.
“I usually like to pretend I’m perfectly put together,” I joked.
“In what ways?” he asked. This guy doesn’t know me well yet, so I’m not sure if he knew that I was joking.
“In all the ways,” I laughed.
As I wondered whether he’d understand why I found it funny, I internally dissected my intent. This kind of joke is normal for me. I’m both quite serious and quite lighthearted at the same time. I like pretending to myself that I can be put-together perfection, which for me looks very different than mainstream ideals, but I also never want to create a façade that covers the effort I put into my ability to function on a daily basis.
Watch the hyperbole in action on my YouTube channel.
It’s like how I regularly joke about being buff. I tell my friends that I am super. Buff. On the serious side, I know that I need muscle to be healthy, and I like to believe on a core identity level that I am someone who makes healthy choices, and so I am intentional about reinforcing that identity with how I speak and how I act. On the lighthearted side, I know I’m not buff. I may be stronger than I used to be, but my shoulders don’t scream “wow she works out” to anyone.
We all need to believe good things about ourselves, while also keeping it light enough to admit that we aren’t perfect. We put in effort, but we relax, too.
This mentality has helped me with issues that can sometimes feel incredibly overwhelming. Physical health, neurodivergence and masking, home and family care, art and writing, navigating social expectations, the list can go on.
What’s something that you want to feel good about? Some identity phrases you can make “I am put together, I am strong, I am smart, I am capable, I am enough” that you’d like to believe about yourself? They can be as vague or as specific or as aspirational as you’d like.
Learning to believe these new identity statements won’t create a lie, but will instead support the efforts you put into your daily life. We are more likely to reinforce habits that match our beliefs.
If it feels like a stretch, try adding an “I am learning to be” to the identity you’re trying on. That can help it feel more approachable.
“I am learning to be kind to myself” is an identity statement that leaves room for growth, even while accepting that you aren’t there yet. You are a person who is learning. Capable of changing. Actively leaving unkindness in the past and welcoming kindness into the present. You put in effort, but you can relax, too. You can be patient with yourself when you mess up or just feel like a mess. Because kindness isn’t a do now or fail kind of action. It’s a part of your identity that you are choosing to gently, intentionally, patiently reinforce day by day.
When my son tells me I’m funny, I joke back to him, with both all seriousness and all lightheartedness, that I am the funniest person to ever exist. I joke that I am the smartest person to ever exist or the strongest. I do this because I want him to have the same freedom that I’m learning to have. I want him to claim his good traits with both security and good humor.
We may not actually be the best at anything, there’s always going to be someone funnier or smarter or stronger, but we are decent. And we’re always growing. And that’s pretty cool.
Some days you may be loopy in front of a near stranger, with your hair in a complete floof and your home the messiest it’s been in who knows how long. But it won’t matter, because you know deep inside, with an earnest dose of self-deprecating humor, that you are the most put together person to ever exist.
I find that to be absolutely hilarious.
If you’ve seen my YouTube channel, you know I talk a lot about how amazing art is for mental health and self care. Watch me paint the art piece seen above while listening to me chat through these identity statement encouragements, and subscribe so you don’t miss a video. Thanks for reading, thanks for watching!
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